vegan columbus: vegan living in central ohio

Since the actual logistical planning of the Great Vegan Nerd-Punk Wedding of 2009 is proceeding at a somewhat lackidasical pace, I thought I'd post a little rant to keep the wedding blog fresh.

In searching Google for terms like "vegan bride" and "vegan wedding" and such nonsense, I've come across the title question several different times in surprisingly uniform wording, being asked mostly by critical mothers/~-in-law, but also often by the dreaded Vegan Brides themselves. And when they do ask, they get some ridonkulous answers from all kinds of people who seem to think serving guests a vegan meal = requiring them to join the Hare Krishna for a day. In a society where brides are allowed - nay, expected! - to tell people in minute detail what to wear, what to say, which tattoos to cover up, and basically who to be on the SPECIAL DAAAAAAAAY, it's still considered rude and bossy of a bride (and it's always the bride who gets the '-zilla', the groom is just a prop, right?) to only serve the guests foods that she would be willing to serve in her own home.

So, the $64,000 question, "Do you really want to force your beliefs on other people?"

In a word, yes. Yes I do! And not just at my wedding, either! I want every man, woman, child, and alternatively-gendered individual on earth to immediately and permanently cease consumption of every kind of animal product. It's true! The only reason I don't go around saying that all the time to omnis is because it's not a very effective tactic.

Okay okay, I know that's not really what all those nay-sayers actually mean when they ask that question. But in an age when we're encouraged (and frequently commanded) to "express your individuality" with custom-embossed personalized cakes or favors or toilet paper or whatver, when we get anywhere close to any kind of real, meaningful individual expression, we're told that a wedding is no place to talk about personal beliefs.

Go back and read that last independent clause again.

Silly rabbit, a wedding has nothing to do with the values, hopes for the future, or commitment to ideals of the happy (or cranky, in our case) couple. Nope. Those promises and vows and readings and stuff, they're just to set the tone for the grand spread of breathtakinly adorable hors d'ouevres and heart-stoppingly precious favors and amazingly 'individualized' cake that is to follow.

So, dear veg*an brides and grooms of the world: DUH YOU SHOULD OBVIOUSLY HAVE A VEG*AN WEDDING WHY ARE YOU EVEN ASKING!!!

</rant>